1. Susi has taken the infant simulator with her to bed.
2. She has carried it around with her for more than a week. She is keeping it close to her body most of the time.
3. The infant simulator is a doll that cries when it needs to be fed, burped, rocked, or changed.
4. Susi has taken out the batteries that make the infant simulator cry.
5. The batteries are AA 1.5. There were 4 of them.
6. The infant simulator now simulates a dead infant.
7. Susi keeps the batteries in the drawer beside her bed.
8. Susi has given the infant simulator the name “Samantha”.
9. When Susi and her mother went to the doctor, he typed NAD in the computer file.
10. NAD means “nothing abnormal detected”. It’s what a doctor or midwife writes on a patient’s chart when they find no problem with a pregnant woman.
11. Misoprostol is a medicine with which women can do an abortion themselves.
12. Brand names for Misoprostol in the United States are Cycotec and Misodel.
13. The success rate is 90 %.
14. On the internet Susi has read that women who live in a country with no access to safe abortion services, could try to obtain Cycotec by saying to the pharmacists they need it for a grandmother with severe rheumatoid arthritis.
15. The former Missouri congressman Todd Atkin said when he was asked if he supported abortion in the case of rape: “From what I understand from doctors, that’s really rare. If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to shut the whole thing down.”
16. Legitimate, definition: “1. Conforming to the law or to rules. 2. Able to be defended with logic or justification.”
17. The doctor types NAD on Susi’s chart. It can also apply to women who are not pregnant.
18. He lets her keep the infant simulator.
“She is called Samantha” says Susi, but only in her head.
19. Susi puts Samantha on her stomach underneath her T-shirt.
20. The T-shirt was made in Bangladesh. The brand name for Misoprostol in Bangladesh is Asotec.
21. Susi is lying on her bed with Samantha underneath her T-shirt and smokes a cigarette.
22. She keeps the cigarettes in the drawer beside the bed, with the infant simulator batteries.
23. Susi’s mother, Valerie, doesn’t like Susi smoking in her room and she doesn’t like Samantha.
24. In the week that Susi has carried the infant simulator around, Valerie has so far stood three times in front of Susi’s closed bedroom door.
25. Valerie thinks of the time when Susi cried and needed to be fed, burped, rocked, or changed.
She is too afraid to knock on the door and walks back down the stairs.
26. Susi takes her phone from the bedside table and goes on Facebook.
27. Sometimes Susi posts something completely contrary to how she feels at that moment.
28. It’s a fact that most people act differently online than in real life.
29. A Utah Valley University study from 2011 found that the longer college students surfed Facebook, the worse they felt about their own lives.
30. Some women attempt to have an abortion by placing sharp or dirty objects into the womb or by punching the belly.
31. Susi scrolls down her newsfeed with one hand and holds the cigarette in the other.
32. Susi’s father sits in the living room and smokes a cigarette, too.
He listens to Valerie coming down the stairs again. He looks at her when she comes into the living room. Valerie understands that she is not to go up again.
33. The infant simulator .
34. Crying time is electronically measured.
35. Samantha has not cried since Susi has taken out the batteries.
36. Susi has not cried since she has taken out the batteries.
37. Measured crying time is zero.
38. Zero crying time = dead infant.
39. Zero crying time = dead Susi.
40. Zero, dead.